Bad Computer 2
Microwave oven controls
Here are the controls on an old microwave oven,
Turn one handle for power, turn another for time. Once the ‘time’ button is turned, microwave will start.
Here are the controls on a new microwave oven,
Easiest use: if microwave is set already, press the bottom button—which should clear the display. Press top button repeatedly for power. Press bottom button (which sets the ‘power’ and changes mode to ‘time’), Go up two buttons, then press on repeat. Time will rise in thirty second increments. If this is too slow, hold button down. If you miss the time, go down one button, then press repeatedly. This button can also be held down. When time is set, press bottom button again. Microwave will start.
The cost
The old microwave needed replacement so, none.
The end
Sequence figured from manual, then pasted to the wall. No other sequence or setting attempted. Microwave often left with residual power and time settings, because people set it wrong, then use a clock to avoid food burns.
Assessment
This was a replacement of new‐for‐old. The new microwave is, from it’s even cooking and power, if not premium, a good device. This layout of controls is shared by many modern microwave ovens. The old controls… I can’t be bothered to source parts data, but they must include some kind of clockwork or motor. This will make them much more expensive than a sequence of press buttons. The new microwave controls are unusable by those with learning difficulties. Which may be regarded as a good thing, but only in some circumstances, as they are unusable also by the elderly. The multiple modes of the microwave setup routines—defrost, auto‐time, weight‐dependant cooking etc. are unused, because even people who may use them can not remember the sequences. A more intuitive layout of button would be power up/down, time up/down, and set/reset/start buttons.
Coop Bank locked account
Locked because I wanted to retrieve some financial information, so tried browser‐access on my phone. Three attempts later, my account locked. Also, I can’t use Chip and PIN, though I think simple swipe to limit worked.
Anyway, I don’t mind a bank flagging suspicious activity. But ring procedure accessibility is poor, offering maybe ten seconds to enter an account number and sort code? First time I ring, I’m cheerily told that the entire Coop Bank computer system is down. I try next morning. I’m told the wait time is fourty minutes. I try later in the day, wait twenty minutes for a service representative who sends me a ‘one time password’. But the representative didn’t it seems lift the lock on the account. The ‘one time password’ didn’t work in Google/Chrome/on a laptop/on a mobile phone/or if typed in rather than copied.
Phone‐call hold is two pieces of tinkly new‐age music interspaced every minute with a message “Your call is important to us. Please hold while we try to connect you to a customer service representative’. The Coop bank website publishes no help information on locked accounts.
I wasn’t going to feedback about this performance, because the reasons clearly lie beyond a fix and it’s far from the worst performance imaginable. However, the bank sent me a form encouraging me to attack the performance of the service advisors, so I sent back a link to this page.
The cost
31 hours overall to fix. I was ill that weekend, so was unable to buy food or medicine in this time.
The end
Reset by the second ‘one time password’, typed rather than copied.
Assessment
Security locks, no problem. Support by chargeable number, with poor accessibility procedure, poor response time, no‐information messages and no online help. Not much good in this (aside from the second customer service representative, who deduced possible issues and offered alternative routes to a reset).
Mobile phone file handling
I was originally going to write about a phone app called Vouch. But the source problem is not the Vouch app, it’s the state of file movement to and from mobile phones. My need? An app connected to the Vouch app, Tink, did not list my bank as a bank that uses Open Bank API. So I needed to upload ‘supporting documentation’, in this case payslips.
Now, anyone who works an office using a mobile phone will know what’s coming. My payslips are paperless, held in an office system. So I needed to download them, then email to a personal email account. The phone can then see the payslips, which can be downloaded then uploaded to the Vouch app (there is another option— go to the bank for paper copies of my account, then take photos). Those processes are ugly but make sense.
My first choice option went haywire soon as the payslip email reached my phone. I was offered only two options for download—to my Google Drive, or to open in my PDF app Foxit. A Google cloud drive is a chaotically‐organised, unnecessary and potentially insecure dump, so not for me. Foxit has very limited downloading, offering only it’s own folder or a nameless ‘download’ path—who knows where that is? I tried ripping out the Foxit app and the downloads went to another ‘helpful’ path, now set by the Android system, with no notation. Worse, the Vouch app, in Firefox or Chrome, refused to open any kind of upload browser.
So, a way ou? I sent myself the Vouch link then tried opening on my laptop. It worked and, behold! verified. Now downloading the payslips from email was trivial, to a ‘Downloads’ folder. Uploading to Vouch was easy too—on the laptop browsers, the Vouch website suddenly displayed a sophisticated file uploader with appendable entries and a submit button—with standard browsers to reach those downloaded files.
The cost
A morning. In full, a night also as I needed to return to my room to reach the laptop.
The end
I uploaded the files to the Vouch app.
Assessment
I’m not a regular user of conventional computer and mobile phone systems. I recall recently being disappointed I couldn’t hardwire (USB) or use Bluetooth to transfer a few phone photographs to a computer. As for downloading files on Android (and far as I know iOS/Apple phones), it’s bewildering that it’s impossible to dump in a custom folder for later retrieval. Yet customization of app browsing, and the systems themselves, make this sometimes impossible. Apps often opt to ‘helpfully’ open files in secondary apps with no stock ‘save’ options. It’s no wonder people use email and multi‐stage processes to move a few files from place to place. Or that people hate PDFs, because who knows what they will open in, and what the app will do? And don’t tell me networked files (‘the cloud’) is the answer, because they are often unavailable or limited in access. Stock desktop file browsers may be clumsy, but ‘helpful’ replacements drive millions to madness,